Above: RHOBH star Lisa Vanderpump. Vanderpump rules!
After a shocking season of fights, feuds, and fashions, the glorious "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" returned on Bravo Tuesday night! Carlton and Joyce are gone, and nobody cares! Taking their place is campy TV lady Lisa Rinna and another lady who is sort of like her, Eileen Davidson!
Cafeteria Lady pals Shrel and Remora were more excited than anyone else for the spectacular show's triumphant return. In their play-by-play, they let you know everything about this long-awaited episode.
Shrel: First it's Kyle. No one's been waiting for her. She's planning the white party and feeling sad about being such a cunt to the divine Lisa Vanderpump last season.
Remora: Snooze! Next, it's Yolanda. I never knew Dutch ladies were named "Yolanda," I thought it was only black ladies and sometimes Puerto Rican.
Shrel: See? "Housewives" is educational.
Remora: Dutch Yolanda is hanging out with cukoo Brandi. How long until cukoo Brandi turns on her, like she does everyone else. We get a flashback of Brandi being outraged at Lisa for not hating the same people she hates.
Shrel: Well, I hear this season everyone will hate Kyle.
Remora: Girl, sign me up.
