Wednesday, July 31, 2013

"Orange Is the New Black" season 2: What will happen?


“Orange Is the New Black” is a smash success, and everyone is thrilled by the news that production for a second season is already underway. Season 1 ended in a hell of a cliffhanger, and there’s still lots of unfinished business for all our favorite characters. No leaks have come out of the season 2 set yet, but we can’t help speculating just what might be in store for us when the popular show returns.

Some of the tantalizing possibilities include:


The news of someone’s past vasectomy ruins someone else’s clever scheme. We can’t say more without divulging a whole bunch of spoilers.

Red lands back on top after her resourceful prison paella recipe proves to be an unlikely taste sensation.

Sophia’s wife, Crystal, marries the preacher--and he’s played by Denzel Washington, in a special guest appearance! As Sophia tearfully comes to terms with the situation, Crystal sings a rousing gospel number at the church, in an homage to Denzel’s film “The Preacher’s Wife.

The inmates form a Country/Western band, which becomes a surprise hit after a record producer overhears them rehearsing in the chapel on visitor’s day.

Piper wakes up. It was all a dream. Most of the other characters--including Alex, Larry, and everyone at the prison--don’t exist outside of her imagination. The season tells the story of her sophmore year at Smith College.


What do you think might happen in season 2? Tell us in the comments, or on Twitter--we’re here for you!

Click here for our full "Orange Is the New Black" coverage.

"In Bed with Joan": Howie Mandell



Hilarious as always! Howie's plugging his new show, Deal with It.

Angela's Adorable Animals: Cat says "pet me, Mommy!"


Look at this sweet, striped kitty! The little darling badly wants a scratch behind the ears and shows Mommy exactly how to do it. This purr-fect little gif was posted at Reddit. --Angela Grammer

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

"Orange Is the New Black": Two opinions

Orange Is the New Black is the hottest new TV show of the year! The gripping comedy/drama, based on the memoir by Piper Kerman, is the most popular of streaming-video service Netflix's original programs. We asked two members of the Cafeteria Lady entertainment blog staff to tell us what they think of the show.

Rick Tyre: If this is "the new black," I'll keep the old black, thank you! First of all, this isn't even a TV show. It comes over the Internet on Netflix, which by the way isn't free, and this means I have to watch it on my computer. And when this sudsy soap opera wasn't crashing Internet Explorer, all I saw was a bunch of mopey gals in the same outfit sit around, crabbing about their problems or causing trouble. Who cares what they think? If these ladies knew what's what, they wouldn't be in the hoosegow in the first place.

Angela Grammer: The thought-provoking first season of "Orange Is the New Black" is so full of laughs, tears, and ideas, I might just have to watch it again! I "binge-watched" all 13 episodes in just a couple of days--that's how fascinating Piper, Alex, Crazy Eyes, and the other inmates were to me. For me, it was especially interesting to see how some of the older inmates, such as Red and Miss Claudette, were able to adapt and thrive in an unusual environment. I do think some of the harsh language and nudity is unnecessary, but overall, Orange Is the New Black is exciting, eye-opening, must-see television!

What do you think of Netflix's smash hit? Tell us in the comments, or on Twitter--we're here for you!

"Orange Is the New Black"'s Big Boo, Lea DeLaria



Everybody loves "Orange Is the New Black," the smash Netflix original that's changing the way we think about TV. Based on the bestselling memoir by ex-con Smith grad Piper Kerman, "Orange" has a timely setting, a great balance between grit and comedy, and a fascinating cast of characters. One of those is Big Boo, the big-hearted, dog-loving butch woman portrayed by Broadway's big, boisterous Lea DeLaria. In this video, DeLaria talks lots of "Orange," including how the role of Boo was created just for her. Let's hope that next season, the character gets more screen time--and her own flashback episode!

Click here for our full OINTB coverage!



Follow Cafeteria Lady entertainment blog on Twitter: twitter.com/cafeterialady4u

Monday, July 29, 2013

Shopper vomits at IKEA, sleeps on model bed


Some lady went to the IKEA in Netanya, Israel. That's a normal thing to do. Then, she vomited on a sofa. That's not-so-normal. Then she kept going:
Apparently unembarrassed by her antics, she sauntered over to the bed section, where she proceeded to remove her shoes, settle into a queen-sized, and fall fast asleep.
And you know what? Classy IKEA felt bad for the lady and let her stay there until the store closed! Such a heart-warming story.

New Lady Bunny video: "Take Me Up High"



Here's the new video from the sensational Lady Bunny! Bunny has become well known for her naughty song-parody videos, but this breezy dance floor treat is an original, written by the lady herself. The fun video references the Wizard of Oz, has a silly dancing-on-the-ceiling moment, and then takes the whole thing into outer space. And keep an eye out for special guest appearances by Princess Lockerooo, Muffinhead Daehniffum, and CJ Quinones. Get into it!

Deadly bear goes to Colorado bar, party people don't notice


So, a bear ambled into Lonigan's Saloon in Estes Park, Colorado. The deadly beast walked right onto the dancefloor, which fortunately was empty because everyone was whooping it up at the bar:
A man walking home behind the bar spotted the bear going in and shouted to alert people inside, Debbie Callahan said. But the bar crowd in the front didn't hear the man -- or realize the bear was headed their way, possibly because of the noise.
A deadly beast was headed their way, but they were just whooping it up! But:
The bear never joined the crowd.The man's yelling got its attention and, like a big dog, it followed the man out the back door.
Danger is everywhere, even when you're whooping it up. Have a good time, sure, but be careful out there, everybody!

Friday, July 26, 2013

Gang of cats attack woman and her dog

Bad, bad kitties! Terror struck in Franche-ComtĂ©, France, this week when a pack of six feral cats attacked a woman in broad daylight while she walked her dog. The victim's mother told the press, "The cats jumped on my daughter and managed to knock her over. They bit her on the leg and on her arms. They even pierced an artery." Quelle horreur!

Says the Independent, "It is thought the attack may be related to the high summer temperatures perhaps making the cats more aggressive than usual." Terrifying. Be careful out there, people!



Unleashed!: Deadly Animal Attacks

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Homespun Advice for Hollywood Celebrities: Miley Cyrus


Cafeteria Lady entertainment blog contributor Angela Grammer knows that the stars aren't so different from the rest of us--they could use some of the plainspoken wisdom shared in families across America and the world. Today, Angela shares her heartfelt advice for Miley Cyrus.

Miley, you are a beautiful and talented young woman (although I do think you looked even prettier when your hair was longer and your natural color). Your success is surely well deserved, and the joy and talent you've shown in your work has been an inspiration to girls everywhere.

But I worry about what those girls see when they look at you now. I also wonder what your fiance Liam Hemsworth thinks. I'm sure he loves you, but deep down in their hearts, not many men want to watch their future wife act sexual toward furniture, as the whole world has now seen you do in your latest video, "We Can't Stop." In the lyrics to that song, you sing about "dancing with molly."

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Royal baby's name: Two opinions



It's official! Prince William and Duchess Katherine--aka Kate Middleton--have chosen a name for their new little bundle of joy: George Alexander Louis! We asked two members of the Cafeteria Lady entertainment blog staff to tell us what they think of the choice.

Rick Tyre: George Alexander Louis? You've got to be kidding me! What the hell kind of name is that? They could hardly have made a worse choice. I'm not joking here. The only way they could have picked a worse name is if they just made up some kind of nonsense word, like--I don't know, something like Prince Bluh-bluh-bluh. At least they didn't name him a direction, like Kim Kardashian did with her brat. Then there's the fact that his initials are gonna be G-A-L. That spells "gal," and gal means girl, which he ain't. This is gonna be one screwed up little prince. Thank God I live in the USA.

Angela Grammer: Welcome, George Alexander Louis--we've been waiting for you for a long time! In choosing a name for their precious first child, the royals made a wonderful, thoughtful choice. Did you know that six kings of England have been named George? And now, one day there will be a seventh! Princess Diana must be smiling up in heaven to see her first grandchild bestowed with a beautiful name so richly imbued with English history.

What do you think of the newest little royal's name? Tell us in the comments, or on Twitter--we're here for you!

Overweight nude Germans in fountain shocker


A bunch of overweight Germans went on vacation in Switzerland. Sounds fun! While there, they took off all their clothes and sat in a fountain! No one really knows why they did such a thing--it wasn't very hot, according to witnesses, and they didn't seem to have been drinking. Lucky for them, none of the locals really seem to care too much about the shocking display:
In the end they dressed and left without anyone making a fuss, and a local council spokesman said. "They were not noisy, we don't encourage it but it was a bit of a change and they were only there 30 minutes."
No big whoop!

In Bed with Joan: Jim Rash



Joan Rivers has a rash--Jim Rash, that is! The octogenarian comic welcomes Rash, the star of Community, to the brand-new episode of her hilarious Internet-only chat show, In Bed with Joan.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Small-penis contest winner speaks


Congratulations to Nicholas Gilronan, winner of last weekend's Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant! After revealing his small penis at Kings County Bar, Nicholas revealed big ideas and a big heart in his interview with Gothamist:
Half of the guys wore masks, but stood out and from the get-go were a crowd favorite—what can you say about that? I'm very confident in my body, so no need to wear a mask. As for being a crowd favorite from the start, that totally caught me by surprise. When I contacted Aimee and Bobbie from Kings County Bar and confirmed my attendance, I immediately began to plan my set. I looked at the contest as a fun and entertaining event and intended to put on a good show for the audience. Looks like my efforts were successful.
Here's a link to the full interview--it's long!

"Asian Wig Bandit" on the loose


Have you seen this man? Then call the cops! He's the Asian Wig Bandit, and he's committed 15 robberies across sunny Southern California in the last few months, disguised in wigs and sunglasses.

LAPD detective Freddy Arroyo recently explained the mystery man's M.O.: "The suspect walks into a business disguised as a female wearing a wig and sunglasses, and as he approaches the employees, he pulls out a handgun, orders them to the ground and demands money and jewelry."

The stylish villain has switched up his look during his many crimes, sometimes choosing a brunette wig, other times preferring blonde. 

“I want this bandit identified, caught, and convicted before his crimes escalate,” cried Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti in a recent appearance. Let's hope this happens, soon--and be careful out there, everybody.

New nude world record


729 people went nude sunbathing in Vera, Spain, shattering New Zealand's previous record, 506. The provocative display occurred on El Playazo beach. Which municipality will step up, now that the gauntlet has been thrown?

Monday, July 22, 2013

Gator bites man at world's scariest birthday party

Last Saturday, volunteer animal handler Will Nace was doing his usual thing at the Native Village wildlife sanctuary in Hollywood, Florida. While a crowd gathered for a birthday party looked on, Nace started to perform a trick he'd done hundreds of times before, known as the "Lunge Alligator," which, according to WSVN, "involves him getting in front of an alligator and tapping it on the nose." But this time, instead of playing along, the alligator bit his arm, breaking it in two places and ripping the skin off it. Nace is recovering from his ordeal in the hospital now, and we're all relieved that he survived the terrifying incident.

No word on just whose birthday it was, but this is one party they're never going to forget. As for us, we'll be staying as far away from gators as we can!


Unleashed!: Deadly Animal Attacks

Dennis Farina dies: Montage of him saying the "F" word


Hollywood is in mourning today at the news that beloved character actor Dennis Farina has died. He was 69, and he used to say "fuck" all the time in his movies, as the video above shows.

Breaking Bad: catch up now before final season!



"Breaking Bad" mania is about to sweep the world again. The hit AMC series will air its final episodes beginning August 11, and the whole Internet will be obsessing over the final act of Walter White, aka Heisenberg. It's been more than a year since the show's been on, so now's a good time to revisit all the shocking, thrilling action that's gone on already--or, if you've somehow missed this remarkable program, it's time to catch up. The masterful video above is just what we all need!

And if you want to take it further, Amazon's got every "Breaking Bad" episode ready to stream--now! Relive the magic--or see what you've been missing!

Breaking Bad--first episode!

Zoo terror as monkey attacks boy

Terrifying images in the Mail Online show a horrifying ape attack in Ratlam, Madhya Pradesh, India. A macaque monkey jumped on a small boy and knocked him to the ground. The photos show the boy with blood on his hands and face. His injuries are said to be serious; fortunately a zookeeper fought the crazed ape off with a stick before things could get worse. But the horror is likely far from over. As the Mail notes, "Large parts of India are plagued by monkeys who steal food, mug people and break into homes."

Our thoughts and prayers are with the boy, named Raghav, and his family.

Katee Sackhoff: Nude fights "not normal"


Comic-Con had a panel on women who kick ass, and they gathered a group of women who know all about it: Michelle Rodriguez, Katee Sackhoff, Danai Gurira, and Tatiana Maslany. One common complain was the sexy clothes they sometimes find themselves in while kicking ass in their shows and movies. And sometimes, there's no clothes at all. Sackhoff revealed she recent shot a scene with a gun--but without any clothes! "I just did a scene naked with a gun. That's not normal," she said "I just met the crew, and I was like, 'Here is my vageene.'"

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Tina Turner got married!

What's love got to do with it? Everything! Tina Turner has tied the knot. The sizzling singer has wed long-time love Erwin Bach. Though news of this happy event has just broken, it seems the ceremony happened weeks ago!

Congratulations to Erwin on his sensational catch!

Tina Turner on Amazon

"Orange is the New Black": Real-life Piper speaks!

The Netflix original series "Orange is the New Black" is America's newest, greatest binge-watching addiction! Already renewed for a second season, the series tells the story of Piper Chapman, a fancy blonde lady who winds up in prison over a mistake she made a decade earlier in her wild youth. Star Trek Voyager's captain, Kate Mulgrew, is onboard as Red, the powerful Russian inmate who basically runs the place, and the cast also includes Laverne Cox, a transgender actress, in a groundbreaking role.

But before there was Piper Chapman, there was Piper Kerman--that's right, the series is based on a real story! After doing her time, Kerman wrote a book about it, which became the basis for the series. Now she's promoting the show, and she recently sat down with Huffington Post's Ahmed Shihab-Eldin to talk about her experiences. Watch, and learn more about her surprising story.


Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Penn Jillette is In Bed with Joan Rivers!


There's a new episode of In Bed with Joan, the web series from legendary comic Joan Rivers. This time, magician, humorist, and inventor Penn Jillette is the guest, and the conversation is as surprising and funny as ever. One highlight: Penn explains how Debbie Harry's frustrating experience in a hot tub led him to invent the "Jill Jet"--a special model designed to stimulate the clitoris!

Penn Jillette at Amazon.com

Emma Roberts punches boyfriend in face

Sometimes the cutest kitties have the sharpest claws.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Rosie O'Donnell Barbie doll: Only one left at Amazon!


The "Rosie O'Donnell Friend of Barbie" doll at Amazon has just seen a dramatic price cut! Once selling for an already unbelievably low $6, the little lady is now going for a mere $5.22! Though it's mind-boggling to think of how it can be, there is still one--but only one!--of these unusual little 90s flashbacks available at the online megaretailer. Whether you're a Barbie collector, a Rosie fan, or just someone with a taste for the unusual, this deal offers a lot of value for not a lot of money. This doll is the perfect gift for someone in everyone's life, so we're sure this final remaining unit wont last long!

UPDATE: Now it's back up to $6! You snoozed, and you lost 78 cents!

Rosie O'Donnell - Friend Of Barbie (Barbie Doll) [Toy]

Monday, July 15, 2013

Randy Travis: Getting better!

Here's some welcome good news--country superstar Randy Travis is recovering from his recent heart problems and stroke.

The "On the Other Hand" singer is awake, and even interacting with relieved family members and friends, according to USA Today.

But, still, the road to a full recovery will be long:



"He is awake and alert, interacting with his family and friends and beginning to start doing some early physical therapy," says doctor Gary Erwin. Erwin anticipates Travis will need to stay in the hospital another two to three weeks followed by a stay in an inpatient facility where he will receive aggressive physical therapy. "We anticipate it will take months to recover from the stroke."
What a relief for fans of this beloved star.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Matthew Morrison's emotional tribute to Glee co-star Cory Monteith

The shocking death of Glee star Cory Monteith has saddened the world, and the pain is only worse for those who knew him, including his castmates.

In a performance at the hot-spot cabaret 54 Below in Manhattan's Broadway district, Matthew Morrison--Mr. Shuester, to Glee fans--dedicated the song "What I Did For Love" to Monteith.

According to Us Magazine:
Morrison, 34, chose the tune "What I Did for Love" from the Broadway classic A Chorus Line to dedicate to Monteith and struggled to contain his emotions during the performance. "He was very emotional on stage," the source tells Us. "It was difficult for him to get up to perform, but he did not want to disappoint anyone."
Monteith's girlfriend & costar, Lea Michele, has so far declined to make a statement. The world is respecting her need for privacy, but also keeping her in its thoughts. #PrayforLea is now a trending topic on Twitter.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

He robbed a bank--in a wig!



Look at Daniel Christopher Williams of Largo, FL. Sensible but sassy in a yellow polo with midlenth honey colored wig, Daniel sashayed up to 1st United Bank in May and tried to rob the place, before running out, probably while shrieking.

Then he did it again! This time he mixed it up a little, and robbed another bank in an edgier, dreadlocked wig.

But now, the cops have have arrested Daniel and put an end to his stylish crime wave. 

It's good to look your best when your picture's going to be taken, but remember this: don't rob banks!

Shop for wigs, at Amazon

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Aisha Tyler on "In Bed with Joan"



Funnylady Aisha Tyler is the special guest on the new episode of comedy legend Joan Rivers's fantastic new online talk show, "In Bed with Joan." In their free-ranging conversation, Aisha reveals her desire to be "the black Joan Rivers," and she works so hard, she might just get there! The poor woman wakes up at 5 am everyday, does her TV show ("The Talk"), her podcast ("Girl on Guy"), some voiceover work, and a million other things. She tells Joan that by the time she gets home, her husband doesn't recognize her anymore--and thinks she's RuPaul! She also dishes about attending high school in San Francisco with fellow celebs Margaret Cho and Sam Rockwell. Aisha's a funny and warm guest, and she and Joan get along like a house on fire.

Aisha's making the rounds to promote her new book, Self-Inflicted Wounds: Heartwarming Tales of Epic Humiliation, available now, and we're sure it's every bit as hilarious and thoughtful as she is.


Leah Remini quits Scientology

Leah Remini is losing her religion!

The brash star of "King of Queens" and "The Talk" has reportedly left the Church of Scientology over disagreements with its leadership.

Leah had been one of the controversial church's leading lights, but Scientology hardly has to worry about its star power dimming with her departure. Its rolls are bursting to full with some of the biggest names in Tinseltown.

Famous Scientologists include Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, Beck, Jason Lee, Jenna Elfman, Elisabeth Moss, and Giovanni Ribisi.

Leah has yet to make a statement about the reports, but be assured we are monitoring the situation very closely.

UPDATE: Leah has released a statement!

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Tennessee woman swims nude to help robber husband

This story about a robber's nude assistant is a little confusing, but it goes something like this:

Some lady in Crossville, TN, asked her neighbor, Stephen Amaral, if she could take a swim in his pool. He said yes, then she took off all of her clothes and did nude laps for an entire 20 minutes while dude sat there and watched. Meanwhile, the naked lady's husband was inside the neighbor's house, robbing the poor guy blind!

When Amaral returned to his house, he found that $1,195 in valuables had been stolen. The suspects are still on the loose.

What's the lesson? Who can tell. Maybe it's this: there's no such thing as a free show.


Randy Travis suffers stroke in hospital

There are new worries for country superstar Randy Travis. Reports indicate that the "On the Other Hand Singer" suffered a stroke while undergoing surgery for the heart problems that landed him in the hospital earlier this week.

His family and friends have asked for the world's support and prayers. They can be assured that across the world, Randy is in everyone's thoughts.

Rosie O'Donnell Friend of Barbie doll: Amazon oddity


Get a load of this unusual creation--it's the brash 90s talk-show hostess Rosie O'Donnell in a special doll from official Barbie maker Mattel. It's hard to believe this unique little lady is going for a mere $6 right now on Amazon. Here's what's not surprising--there's only one left in stock. Get it now!

Rosie O'Donnell - Friend Of Barbie (Barbie Doll) [Toy]

Nude Beyonce praises "RuPaul's Drag Race" winner Tyra Sanchez

By now, everyone knows that beautiful Beyonce appears on the cover of the new issue of Flaunt magazine, wearing nothing but shimmering copper-toned glitter and a provocative facial expression. The stunning image is an instant smash, sure to be an iconic image of 2013 and the decade we live in.

But dig a little deeper into Flaunt, and there's a surprise, one that should make one of Bey's biggest fans very happy. In a revealing excerpt from the new issue, Beyonce is asked about "RuPaul's Drag Race" season 2 winner Tyra Sanchez, who never missed an opportunity to declare her love for the former Destinty's Child frontwoman.

Flaunt's Megan Bedard said, "Tyra Sanchez based his [sic] drag persona for 'RuPaul's Drag Race' on you. What does it mean that someone who impersonates your "girl-power" persona is a man with a successful career as a female impersonator? Is there conflict there?" Mrs. Carter's reply?: "No conflict. I love it and Miss Tyra is fabulous!"

Right about now, Miss Tyra is probably walking on a cloud!

RuPaul's Drag Race, season 2

Thiago Santos: Hottie male model

Thiago Santos is one of the hottest models working today. This handsome Brazilian is known for his big smile and bigger hair. He's walked for all the biggest designers and has been featured in campaigns for American Eagle and H&M.

Recently, Thiago walked the runway for avant guard Japanese designer Issey Miake. Thiago plays guitar and also is a photographer.


There's another famous Thiago Santos from Brazil--he's a mixed martial arts fighter. Though their names are the same, it's not too likely you'll get the two Thiagos confused--Thiago the MMA fighter looks like he's about 4 times as big as Thiago the model!

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Amanda Bynes: New wig

Another court date, another wig. Troubled ex-teen star Amanda Bynes may have lost her mind, but she hasn't lost her hideous sense of style. Today she appeared in court due to more trouble related to her alleged bong tossing, and Mandy wore a horrifying long, straight hairpiece in a color Lady Gaga pioneered over a year ago. 

Amanda: all of us at Cafeteria Lady Blog wish you the same thing we wish the ailing Randy Travis: get well! 

Randy Travis: Condition still critical


Beloved country-western superstar Randy Travis is still in critical condition--and a cardiologist tells USA Today that the "On the Other Hand" singer's life could be in danger. According to Dr. Mariell Jessup:

"With good treatment, many people with cardiomyopathy may go on to have a normally functioning life. But this is serious and could be life-threatening."
Randy's sister-in-law has revealed that just last year, the singer's brother suffered from a heart attack--and it was heart disease that ended their mother's life. Now, fans across the USA and the world join his family in prayer for a quick and full recovery.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck's good-bye to "View"


Daytime TV fans are shocked as "The View"'s Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving the show​ after 10 years as its own in-house conservative cutie. Elisabeth, who famously butted heads with former co-host Rosie O'Donnell,  is going to Fox News, where her conservative politics and blonde good looks will make her right at home.

Earlier this year, "View" creator Barbara Walters  announced her retirement. Recently, co-host Joy Behar  announced she's leaving too--and she's been there from the start. Looks like it's more or less Whoopi Goldberg's show now--if anyone keeps watching.

Actress Brooke Sheilds is said to be a possible replacement for Elisabeth.